After leaving the blogging world for a few years I've decided to return. Why, you ask? I guess it comes down to two reasons: 1) I enjoy reading blogs myself and 2) I want an outlet for my thoughts and ideas. It's okay if not many people read it. I know most of my thoughts are not new or profound :) I just decided I want to write. I go through phases in life of enjoying things like reading or writing and doing a lot of it and then taking breaks. Sometimes long breaks :) Since I wrote last several things have captured my attention, heart and passion. I guess it all began a couple of years ago at a prayer time at my church. We had a special guest at that prayer night. He was with the Police department and his main job is rescuing girls off the street from sex trafficking. He gave us stats that night that overwhelmed and saddened me. I remember being shocked, surprised and grieved to hear about what goes on in the streets of Portland. The city I have grown up in and love. That night my eyes were opened. The saying about not being able to "unhear" or "unsee" things you are told about rings true. I knew that night that some things would never be the same for me. I would never be able to drive down familiar streets like 82nd without thinking about the things I was told. A few months later I was able to go to a conference that was solely about the sex trafficking issue in Portland. It again was eye opening and informative while being sad, overwhelming and real. They had a few survivors speak. Instead of thinking of prostitutes as sleazy drug addicts I began to see them as people. As girls- someones's daughter, someone's sister- the majority of them victims. I remember hearing about what the pimps will do to convince these girls to start selling their bodies for sex. These guys are charming in the beginning. Convincing girls that they love them and will treat them better than anyone ever will. Buying them expensive gifts and showering them with attention. They do all this so the girls will feel like they "owe" them when they finally bring up the idea of walking the streets. I thought of girls I knew that are vulnerable and just want to be loved by a man. It scared me to think any girl could fall victim to this. Yes, they tend to prey on vulnerable girls but one of the survivors who spoke was a girl from a Christian home with 2 parents. Her mom spoke about how devastated they were when she disappeared. Her story ended well with her parents and family searching for her and finding her before it was too late. But what about the girls that no one is searching for? A month later I went to the Justice Conference. It is not solely about this issue but it was again eye opening and thought provoking. What are we as Christians called to do? What does it mean to "do justice and love mercy"? This conference was amazing and life changing for me. It helped me remember that I do have a strong passion for justice. People that know me well know I don't have a lot of tolerance or compassion for people that make excuses for their life and play the victim in a self-seeking or manipulative way. But someone who has been victimized? Let me at the person who hurt them! Another month goes by and my church (which I started attending in 2007 drawn to it mostly because of their involvement in the city and justice issues) had a special informative session about what to do with the information we have been given about the sex trafficking issue in Portland. They had several ministries and organizations come and talk about what they do. One was SARC which has an amazing and awesome director I had heard speak several times by this point. Another was a ministry I was also familiar with since my office-mate is on their board, Door to Grace. The last group to get up were a group of people from my church who had recently started a Foster Care ministry with a grant from Advent Conspiracy. They not only want to inform and teach people about the Foster Care system in hopes that more families will step up to become Foster Parents but they also had some other ideas. I felt my heart drawn to this ministry for now. There were a couple of reasons. One, was I have also been interested in Social Work. I thought of being a social worker when I was in college but for various reasons haven't gone down this pathway at least yet. I also was drawn to it because I liked thinking of the "prevention" side of sex trafficking. How are the two related? Well, I can't remember the exact statistic but somewhere around 95% of girls who are victims of sex trafficking are either in Foster Care (or have been or their parents were). A very strong correlation if you ask me! So, the side of me that wants to help people not become victims and be able to prevent more girls (or boys) from being trafficked decided I would start looking into this ministry. They had a couple of information sessions I went to and they started the training and launch of a ministry called "Foster Parents Night Out". This ministry is in partnership with DHS. The case workers invite families to come once a month and drop their kids off so the parents can have 4 hours to themselves. Many Foster Parents don't get many breaks. It's not as easy as calling the next door teenage girl to come babysit on a Saturday night. There is a whole involved process for "respite". So, a bunch of us screened and trained volunteers plan a night of fun activities for the kids once a month. We are about to end our 1st year and it has been amazing. The love I feel for these kids is overwhelming. A few of the families in my church who are Foster Parents come or help with this and I have grown to love their kids and pray for their well being. When I've held and taken care of a 2 day old baby I can't help but think about this precious new life and what it will hold pleading for God to protect this child. Thanking him for the family that have 5 other foster kids and have taken in one more willingly. Every month I see his growth and enjoy watching him change and learn new things. I don't know most of their stories but that is okay. God has gifted me with babies and I will hold, rock, change, feed and love on them during those 4 hours. It's the least I can do. So, all this to say, God is changing me and has grown a new passion in me the past couple of years. The journey is not complete. I am not sure what will be next. All I know is I will never be the same. Like I said earlier I drive down certain streets in Portland now with my eyes wide open. Praying for the girls who walk those streets. Praying for things to change.