Peace

I have a lot going on right now as I work through the details of an accident I was in last week. I have been trying to hold on to the truths that I know..."that all things work together for good for those who love Christ" but fear and uncertainity have been trying to take their grip on me. I started out this day after a few discouraging days asking the Lord to give me peace and joy today. He has brought me JOY through my co-workers and friends today. We have a fun time together and I thought "wow, I am so lucky to have a job I love where I can see my friends every day!". JOY! On my break I read a blog I keep up with. She is a friend of a friend who lost her husband a year ago. Her story inspires me and her post today was so fitting with where I'm at this week. Read it here: http://taranewby.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-i-am-about-to-tell-you-is-huge.html
As I read her post an overwhelming peace filled me. Not only because it reminded me that my life and struggles are so little in comparison to hers. I think that often and I know the Lord cares about all our needs- big or small. What spoke to me were her words...the truth she spoke and the verses she shared. I am thankful for the Lord and how He hears our cries and really knows just what we need and when we need it. I don't know how rest of my day will play out as I hassle with insurance companies, but I do know the Holy Spirit is my comforter and can fill me with peace.

Thankful...

It's that time of year again to reflect on what we DO have and what we are thankful for. Here is my list of things I am counting as blessings this year:

- my family- it's been a big year in our family and I think we are closer for it!

- my job- I am still challenged by it and love it most days :)

- my church- I have purposely gotten more involved this year and I am thankful for all I am learning from others in the body

- my health

- all my grandparents are still alive!

- my friends- I think I have the best friends ever :)

- my home- 4 years of being in it- such a blessing and a way my faith has increased in the Lord's provision and protection

- my dog- she brings a smile to my face every day- good days and bad days!

- little things like the sun shining, a candle burning, getting Real Simple in the mail, listening to Christmas music, sleeping in, crafting with my sister, holding a baby, etc.

My life is blessed...what are some of your blessing this year?

A few of my favorite things...

Here are few of my favorite things (that you can buy)...

Bath and Body Works Wallflowers are amazing! I get many comments about my house smelling good- and I attribute it to these- I usually have 1 or 2 at all times.

Chi Straightener! It truly does the best job at straightening my wavy, annoying hair!

I love Partylite candles. They are the only candles I can find that use up all the wax and they smell delcious! Afew of my favs this season are Homeade Cookies and Peppermint Bark. YUM! See a trend here? I love a yummy smelling house!

I also love this mascara. It gives me volume without clumps.

I of course love this pup- yes I bought her- only you can't ;o)

I love these 2 products by Arbonne. The chapstick leaves my lips feeling silky and is made from natural ingredients (therefore not addicting like most chapsticks). The body butter is awesome! It is not a strong fragrance (again, natural) so it doesn't make me sneeze and it makes my skin soft!

I could add many more but my break is over! What are a few of your favorite things?

How great is the Father's love for us...

I am taking a class right now on the book of John. It is a great class and I am grasping all over again the love of the Father for me. I can't explain it exactly...I wish I could record the exact words of our teacher who explained it so well...

What I'm learning is His love for us is the same love He has for His Son- Jesus. I guess I have a hard time accepting this because I am a sinner and Jesus is not. I don't think I am worthy of the same love. Knowing He loves me this deeply, purely, completely is so humbling and makes me want to share that love with everyone around me. In John 17 we are invited into the love and unity the Trinity share. This is supposed to be the example unbelievers see and want a part of. But how many times have I (and other believers) not shown the world our love or unity? I am looking inwardly at my own heart that doesn't love or stand united with other believers and am trying to change it- asking the Lord to change it. I am praying other believers would do the same. Can you imagine what the world would say about Christians if we all did this? Most people see us as hypocritcal, judgmental and anything but loving. "Oh, Lord, may we grasp your LOVE so we can love those around us! May they see our unity and want to be apart of it. In spite of ourselves would your draw the lost to you?"

Cousins

That's right I'm an auntie! Nope, not of the human kind. Maggie now has a kitten cousin. Harlow came up to visit this weekend. We wanted to make sure she met Maggie before she was too big so they can be friends. They loved each other! Maggie like to follow Harlow around and wished she could fit in the tight corners like Harlow could. Harlow loved playing with Maggie's tail. By the end of the weekend they were cuddling with me on the couch. It was heaven! Maggie knows the name "kitty" now. It's fun being an auntie!

Giveaways...

I'm determined at some point to win something...anything! I have never had good "luck" with contests/drawings but I figure at some point I might be the recipient of a giveaway. Maybe it will be this one.

Fall

A fun blog I read asked us to share what we love about Fall.

What I love about Fall...

The leaves changing color...there a few spots in Portland I drive through that are gorgeous- tree lined streets with every tree a different color.

I love, love, love Pumpkin and Apple Cider candles- I burn them constantly in my house!

Decorating my house for Fall- it's the only time of year I like having orange decorations.

Adding mums to my pots on the front porch.

Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Baking- Fall reminds me of baking Zucchini or Pumpkin bread, coffeecake on Saturdays and pie!

Pulling out my sweaters and jeans (I'm not a big fan of summer clothes- though I like summer shoes better).

Starting fresh with a new school year, new programs at church, etc.

Last year was my first year to go to the Apple Tasting Festival at Portland Nursery and it was so fun!

I like Fall fruit- apples, peaches, pears.

I really enjoy the Holidays!

What do you love about Fall?

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength

I have been learning a lot about joy and peace lately. The past few months have been full of change in my life. I have been learning how joy cannot come from our circumstances alone. Most of us will always find something in our lives we wish was different...for me, I wish I was married. For some, they wish they had a better job or could have kids or better health...But I am learning and choosing to find my Joy in the Lord. HE is my strength and from him comes true Joy- joy when things don't look great with my grandma's health; joy when my little sister gets married before me; joy when my parents are going through trials; joy when finances are tight...As I choose JOY...I have found the Lord really meets me there and I actually "feel" joyful! It's hard to explain but if you have sought out joy from the Lord (or happiness as the world puts it) you might understand. It really is unexplainable joy- joy when the world tells us we should be depressed, angry or bitter. Joy when life gets hard. Joy when other people are experiencing blessings- you can be truly happy for them! Joy that comes from the Lord- in His strength. If you haven't sought out joy from the Lord yet- I invite you to. On our own we are pretty depressing people (most of us at least- I haven't met many people that naturally and without the Lord are overflowing with Joy). Ask the Lord for Joy every morning as you rise and as you face the day. Ask for Joy from the Lord when you would rather be jealous or sad or bitter. Ask for the Lord...He is faithful to meet us in that place!

Whirlwind...

Whirlwind is a good way to describe my summer. It has flown by first of all. I can't believe it's over when it seems like just yesterday the Spring flowers were blooming and the days were getting longer. Now I feel Fall in the air and the days are getting shorter again.

This summer has been crazy for me. Some pretty hard things going on with those around me. I have felt like the Lord has asked me to walk this road with those in my life and not try to shut out their pain. I have learned that I cannot be the rock for everyone...only the Lord can be that...I can only offer so much of myself. But at the same time the Lord has asked me to offer more than I normally do this summer. On many days this has brought me to the end of myself and my own strength. I have learned that only He can sustain me...He is faithful to do so...He gives me HOPE and STRENGTH in the midst of trials and pain. I feel like my relationship with Him is more intimate than it was 3 months ago. As the song "Bring the Rain" says..."Bring me joy, bring me peace, the chance to be free...bring me anything that brings you glory...and I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain...Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty". This has been a song that has spoken to my heart this Summer. Not only does it give me the perspective to see how the Lord might use trials to refine and grow us...but it reminds me to praise Him despite my (or others) circumstances.

My sister is getting married in 9 days which has meant many weeknds have been spent helping her plan. I can't believe her big day is almost here. I'll post a pic from the Bachelorette- our childhood friends and us.

As Fall begins I desire to know Him more and not let the crazyness of life distract me from worshipping him...

How do you save money?

I thought it would be fun to see how other people make their dollars stretch and share a few of my tips! Feel free to comment with your ideas or link a blog entry to mine :)

Meal planning- it is hard cooking for one person because I get really sick of eating the same thing for a week and I usually end up wasting some of it- but I am trying to plan out what I'll eat for a week and only by groceries for those meals. For me I have to have variety so I will do a similiar theme in a week...like Mexican food (so I can use up the tortillas, chips, salsa and guac) or sandwhiches, etc.

Recycle, reduce, reuse- as any good Oregonian I recycle :) I have actually "upped" my recycling habits the past 2 years by only having my garbage picked up once a month. I have found most months I can recycle enough that even with 2 people living in my home it works! I recycle anything and everything I can! I also try to avoid paper products (well I use toilet paper- good thing! and some paper towels)...but I don't use paper plates, cups and rarely paper napkins.

Clothing exchanges- seriously most of my "new" clothes are free these days! I LOVE going to clothing exchanges- also known as "Naked Lady Parties".

Coupons- nope I don't use coupons on food. I don't have the patience for it and I shop at Trader Joe's for most my food...but I do use coupons for restaurants, clothing stores, oil changes, car wash, etc. I hate buying things full price so I tend to either hit the clearance rack or use a coupon! Just use this rule of thumb: "If I wouldn't buy it full price, I probably shouldn't buy it". I used to buy cheap clothes just because they were cheap...and if I didn't really like it- or even love it I ended up wearing it a few times at most. Now I try to buy only things I love!

Keep your ear open for free stuff or just ask- I wanted to plant a flower garden this year but don't have much spending money these days. A co-worker of mine was talking about extra dahlia tubars she had...I jumped at taking some and ended up getting starts for all kinds of flowers! Then I asked my grandma if she had any extra stuff (avid gardeners usually do!). Sure enough she had bulbs that needed to be planted. So I have a much prettier yard this year and most of it was free!

Garage Sales- I am getting more into garage sales. You can find a lot better deals than at most thrift stores and you get some fresh air! No stuffy, smelly thrift stores to deal with :) I went to sales with some friends and didn't pay the asking price for almost everything. Just offer a lower price and see if they'll take it- everyone I asked did! I was amazed at how much baby stuff there was...when I have kids someday I will be getting most their stuff at garage sales!

Well those are some of my ideas- not super creative so I'd like to hear yours!

How He woos us...

I have been thinking a lot about how the Lord woos us...I finished Redeeming Love over the weekend and was captivated by the storyline...it reflects the Father's love for us...when we run away from his pursuit, fall back into our sinful ways, reject his advances...He continues to pursue and woo...

I am now back to "Captivating" which I started last summer and never finished! The chapter I read during lunch today was about the Lord as our lover. It sounds scandalous...but as John and Staci Eldridge point out He does pursue us that way in Scripture. They talked about the hole that all of us have in our heart that cannot be met by a man or a woman. It can only be met by Him...I liked their idea of the Lord romancing us. They asked- what does the Lord do to romance you? When I paused to think about it I knew immediately! FLOWERS...I smile and light up every time I see a new flower sprouting out of the ground- especially in my own garden. Mostly because the first summer or two I lived there NO flowers came up- even ones I had planted. I was convinced I would always have barren soil...but I tried again. This year I planted all types of flowers- mini roses, iris, dahlias, daisies, tulips, daffodils, lilies...and they are SO BEAUTIFUL! What was once barren is now a garden! I know the Lord delights that I enjoy my garden so much! After all He created each and every flower...He took the time to come up with all sorts of colors and varities...

How does the Lord romance you? Do you think of Him as a pursuer? Or just an old man on a throne up in Heaven condemning you for every wrong move you make?

Redeeming Love...

I am re-reading a great book called "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. It has been so long since I've read it I barely remember it...but being about 1/5 of the way done I am starting to remember why I liked it...It has made me think about how ugly we are to the Lord...by our own efforts we could never attain perfection so we looked even a little bit presentable before our Father when we come before his throne one day...Our sin makes any amount of physical beauty hideous before the Lord...BUT He sees our ugliness and still loves us and wants a redeeming relationship with us through His Son! His Son sacrficed for US...the sinful, ugly, bitter people we are by our very nature. His Son took OUR punishment so that we could LIVE- He is perfection but took on our sin so we might be presentable before the Father. I pray that we would accept this amazing, free, undeserved gift so that we would one day be able to stand before the Father in Heaven as beautiful, presentable, forgiven people...

Summer and stillness...

Well Summer weather has arrived in Portland (or at least a teaser of it!). It has been GORGEOUS for the past couple of weeks! I thrive in this kind of weather. I have more energy, am more optimistic, get more things done...I LOVE it!

The past month was a month of rest at my church. Everything was cancelled except a new, weekly prayer service. It was really amazing. I felt the Lord calling me to Himself...to make my relationship with Him more of a priority. I find myself struggling with my Bible reading...ever since I graduated from Bible college...ironic! I think my prayer life has improved...but I am not going to get to know my Savior more without reading His love letter to us. I have also felt the Lord want me to be still before Him. This has also been hard for me as I like "noise" and think/daydream when I try to be still. But all of these things are acts of discipline...but out of a love relationship. I realize he doesn't condemn me (those thoughts are not from Him)...but He beckons me to come and knows I will be refreshed when I do.

He loves us and wants a relationship with us...not religious people who only do things out of duty or guilt...if your kids/spouse/friends/parents only spent time with you because they "had" to...would you feel loved? I am trying to remember when I spend time with Him to give Him my attention and love...He is worthy of it!!

Memorial Day Giveaways!

So if you like to win free stuff...and cool stuff I have a few links for you!

http://kkskreations.blogspot.com/

http://thebigmamablog.com/2925/cwdkids-memorial-day-giveaway/

Maybe one of us will win :)

Change is here...

Well the past couple of weeks have brought some change in my life...I love Spring for the newness of life...it is so beautiful in Oregon to watch the flowers peek out of the ground and grow and bloom. It is a reminder of the Lord's presence each and every year...and how He makes all things new! I love it!

Besides the flowers coming up all around me other changes have taken place...students are gone for the summer and my sister got engaged! From here on out life will be different since her first priority will be him and not me/our family :) I am honored to be her maid-of-honor.

I have felt a change in my heart as I seek the Lord and what He has for me next...it's hard to explain what I mean exactly...but I know that He wants me to seek Him and wait on Him. When I try to take things into my own hands or try to make decisions "logically" he shows me that is not always His way...I am realizing He will lead me if I seek Him...He will take care of me...this change is still at work in my heart as I am independent and feel able to take care of things on my own. Peace comes when I let Him lead...

I don't know what the near future holds for me- it seems up in the air in so many ways...but I pray the change that comes will draw me closer to the Lord and will be glory to Him!

My mom...

Her 50th birthday party!

Well in reflecting on Mother's day I thought I would do a special post on my mom. I know all of us could right many things we appreciate about our moms but I will try to narrow it down ;o)



My mom is great at...

taking care of people (esp. babies and kids)

cooking...everything tastes better that my mom makes!

talking...she can talk and talk

listening...to me talk and talk

crying while laughing...if she gets laughing really hard she cries and also she does a cry/laugh at sad movies

loving...she loves her family so much and so well



My mom is...

compassionate

caring

warm

friendly

humble



My mom likes to eat...

chips and salsa (and most Mexican food)

cookies

fruit

cereal

new pampered chef recipes



I am like my mom in these ways...

love little kids

like to chat

indecisive

love to lay on a beach or by a pool

like to read Karen Kingsbury books

like to cook and entertain



So, mom, I hope you know how much we care for you and love you! Thanks for your unconditional love and support. Thanks for all you do for us!



Happy Mother's day!

Called to pray...

Our pastor has cancelled every mid-week activity for a month urging us to instead come together and PRAY. I am excited about it and find the timing ironic. Just as I'm "getting up my guts" to try new home communities he cancels them all! I am actually grateful that pressure is off for now...and instead I can engage with my church community in prayer.

Recently I have been learning to pray more...praying each day as I wake...praying as I go throughout my day...praying for others...praying for my heart...praising God for who He is...I (like most Christians) err on the side of petitioning God...so I am learning to praise Him more for what I do have and the answers He has already given me. It will be a good month as we pause and come before him intentionally. I am excited to see what He does in our community...

Blessed and grateful

I am having a day where I just feel blessed! I really have a great life! The first reason I feel blessed is thinking about all the places I have been...funny this was brought on by a Facebook application where you choose the type 5 places you have been. Mine were: Puerto Vallarata, Mexico (been here twice and the second time was probably my favorite vacation); St. Thomas and Puerto Rico- on the same trip we also went to St. Martin and St. Croix. This was a Caribbean cruise with my family. I think I saw the most beautiful water and beaches on that trip. I also had down Guatemala which wasn't a vacation but a mission trip. It is a beautiful place! The 5th location was Hawaii. I went at a time of record rainfall so I didn't enjoy it as much as the average person but it was still beautiful.





Besides thinking about all the places I have been blessed to visit...seeing God's BEAUTIFUL creation...I feel blessed by the people in my life. I love visiting with friends...I went over and saw my friend Jaime's 5th child and first son last night. It was refreshing just to be with her kids and talk with her for awhile about life. I have so many great friends!

I also am really grateful for the home God entrusted me with 3 1/2 years ago this weekend. It is AMAZING to me time and time again that he saw it fit to give me this blessing.

The weekend ahead looks really open but I am excited to do one of my favorite things (weather permitting)...garden! I took up this hobby last year and really enjoy it. It is relaxing...I love to see things grown...I have a deeper appreciation for creation...and I just really enjoy it! I might do some decorating which has been a hobby of mine for years. Time to take down all the wintery things and bring out the summer stuff. Fun!





What are you grateful for?

Give me Jesus...

I am listening to Jeremy Camp's song "Give me Jesus". It is a refreshing song that brings perspective..."you can have all this world...give me Jesus...". I wrote a post last week that never got published. I could publish it but it seems sort of outdated. One thing I was writing about, though, was the recent loss of a student (if you live in Portland you might have heard about it on the news- rockclimbing accident...her brother-in-law died, too, and was a Gresham Police Officer. That week was really sad around here and the funeral extremely sad. But I realized for me life goes on. Her husband stopped by last week to ask a question and I was really sad for him rest of that afternoon. But I woke up the next day not thinking about it anymore. They do come to my mind often and I pray for them...but for me the sadness is mostly gone. What is my point? Well, I have realized a couple of things through this tragedy...the biggest thing is to LIVE life to the fullest. Not "eat, drink and be merry"...but living a life of purpose. A life I would be proud of when I stand before my Maker. A life that if I died a premature death others would say the nice things they said about Laura Silva. A life that leaves a legacy... I have been trying to find ways to do this...my first step is "risking" more in ministry and relationships. I like to play it safe most of them...because of past hurt and because I am not much of a risk taker... I want to spend more time with my Lord. I have been actively trying to do that...acknowledging His presence throughout my day...asking Him to be glorified through me today...

I also realized that for me the sadness might be gone...but for their families and close friends it will linger for a long time...maybe forever. It makes me realize how each of us have some level of pain in our lives...some more than others...I don't understand fully why some of us are given more than our share (like the Silva family) but I do know that pain can lead us several ways...to bitterness OR closer to the Father. Longing for Heaven...to be free of pain and tears and mourning. I realized on Easter sunday that Laura and Tony are in a better place and they were celebrating our Risen Lord in person!! This gave me chills to think they could go up to Jesus and see his scars and know He sacrificed so they could live eternally!! WOW!

So all this to say...the past few weeks my prayer and my desire is for more of Jesus!

The sun will come out tomorrow...

This has been one of the biggest weeks in a long time. Big is the only way I can describe it I guess. I have had some really cool things happen...and had to do one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Let's start with the cool stuff :) I had this realization this week about how we as humans want to be believed in...need it really! I have struggled off and on in life with confidence. In certain situations I am confident and sure of myself. In others, I want to crawl in a hole. Have you ever noticied in a situation where you don't feel confident if someone BELIEVES in you it makes you suddenly able to do it? I know for myself, the words of someone who is instilling hope and confidence in me is HUGE...One example of someone who does that well in my life is our children's pastor. When I agreed to move to the 2's ministry the words she spoke about me to others instilled confidence in me. Not confidence in my own ability...but what the Lord could do through me if I was a willing vessel. I have had some really cool things happen in my heart through her and through this ministry.

I also had a divine appointment this week. That's another story that is still unfolding but the Lord clearly put this person in my path at the exact moment I needed it. I am still smiling that the Lord loves me so much He does these things...little things...but important to my growth and confidence.

The hard thing is too tender and private to share here but I will say the Lord works in ways we don't understand. He uses us in ways we would NEVER want to be used but I can see on this side of the week a little of why He wanted me to do what I had to do. I don't believe in coincidences...I do believe in honesty and truth...I do believe there is a battle going on around us that we are not always aware of but it is very real. I am confident that "his mercies are new every morning". I wish I could take away pain from those I love...even though I am unable...I know the ONE who is able!

Friends and a long weekend!

After being sick SO much this winter I have needed some good friend time! I have much to look forward to in the next couple of weeks :) This past week I had a few fun things as well. First was a surprise 30th birthday for my good friend Bec! It was so fun- I did have a cold then so would've enjoyed it even more without it- but still had fun celebrating her! I'll add a few pics to this from that night (you can see more on my Facebook). The first pic is Jessica her sister-in-law with week old Titus, her mom, Nikki and me. The second is Bec when she walked in- SURPRISE!

Last weekend my sister, her boyfriend and I went to spend a night at the beach with my grandparents. It was fun to window shop, relax, eat yummy food and play games. I LOVE the beach rain or shine. It was nice most of Saturday which was unexpected! We had a nice view of the ocean from our room.

I have realized how much I need friends in my life this winter! Having to cancel my plans too many times makes the times I do get with friends even more special :)

Prayer requests

I know a couple of babies who are fighting for their life right now. One is the daughter of a guy I grew up with. They thought she would die at birth from Trisomy 13 but she is alive still (I think she was born last Thursday). They haven't confirmed yet if that is what she has. Also a blogging friend's baby is in the hospital. He was a miracle baby- they thought he would also die at birth from heart conditions. He was born healthy but now is having problems. Her blog update was really good about trusting God even when things don't go our way! Really inspiring as she is going through a huge trial and so much truth to what she says... I would recommend reading it and saying a prayer for her little one!

Praises!!

I am a loyal reader of a blog I found from a friend. It is a fun blog and she puts up prayer requests for people which can get really heavy. I found myself almost brought to tears (which is hard for me since I'm not very emotional) by one of the stories she asked us to pray for. So when I read her entry today I was inspired and realized I need to do this publicly and with my time with the Lord more often.... PRAISE HIM for all the blessings in my life!!

PRAISE the Lord I have a job...a job that I actually love and a job that pays the bills. This is something I try not to take for granted as I know many people are out of jobs or are at jobs they don't like!

PRAISE the Lord for my family. My parents and sister love and support me even when I don't deserve it! Rarely do I go a day without talking to my mom and sister on the phone!

PRAISE the Lord for the friends I have- both near and far. It has been a hard 6 months for me with friends moving (esp. since quality time is huge to me in a relationship) but I am so thankful for my friends who are still here and miss those who are far!

PRAISE the Lord for the blessing of my home. I know without a doubt that it is ONLY because of Him I ever bought a house or still have it. I can speak many praises to Him about this story in my life and His provision.

PRAISE the Lord my grandpa is still alive and doing well. When he was first diagnosed with cancer they didn't give him a very good prognosis.

PRAISE the Lord for my puppy...I seriously think I would be depressed without her to come home to...she is always happy to see me, shows me tangible love all the time and cuddles with me when I'm sick or tired!

PRAISE the Lord for my overall health. 3 viruses in 1 1/2 months is frustrating but I am extremely thankful I don't have something serious!

PRAISE the Lord for sunshine today!! I seriously needed it after the past few days of dark skies/rain/hail...thank you, Lord, for a break in the weather!

PRAISE the Lord for 2 days off during Spring Break and a beach trip!

And everyday things that I enjoy and don't always praise the Lord for...sunshine, Spring flowers, coffee, having the resources to decorate my house and make yummy food, chips/salsa/guac/nachos, Jamba juice, watching movies, taking a walk in the sunshine, encouraging notes, jewelry, organic makeup, Creme Brulee or Tiramisu dessert, waking up to sunshine and having it last until bedtime, the beach, seeing Mt Hood as I drive to work, sunrises and sunsets, holding babies or playing with little kids, gardening...and the list could go on and on!!

So if you have a blog I officially tag you to do something similiar...I think we all need to stop and praise the Lord publicly! He is GOOD...and even when things seem to be out of control in the world around us we KNOW He is in control! Praise you Lord :)

Thoughts...

I have several thoughts circulating in my mind right now :) I am not sure who actually reads my blog since I never have comments- if you do would you mind leaving me a comment? I am just curious...

Anyway, one of those thoughts is about contentment. A good friend of mine once told me (paraphrase) "If you cannot be content single, you will never be content married. If you cannot be content married, you will never be content as a parent..." This has stuck with me and encouraged me time and time again. It is okay to have desires and dreams and to fervently seek the Lord for them. But we are asked to be content in all circumstances. I have realized by watching friends and "blogging friends" go through trials that life is not fair. I can become upset when I see someone who doesn't "deserve" blessings to have them...I know that sounds really selfish and I admit that it is! But I see friends who are wonderful, godly people who DESERVE to have kids and cannot get pregnant...I see myself and others who want to find "the one" and haven't yet... So how do we move past this and learn to be content? I am not completely sure but I am trying to seek the Lord in my frustration...I am trying to remember that no one has a perfect life (even if they appear to)...even those who deserve every blessing under the sun don't have it all...I realize daily that this is part of life on earth...we live in a fallen world and there will be hurt, disappointment and pain. Only when we meet Jesus will the disappointments of this world fade! And what hope there is in that promise!!

Weakness...

I am coming out of my second sickness in two weeks. I normally don't get sick very often but this winter it has hit hard. This last sickness really wiped me out. I could barely get out of bed the first day and by the third day at home from work I tried to go in and lasted an hour! It was almost embarrasing how weak I was. I couldn't even process what people asked in their e-mails. I have realized I pride myself in my efficiency and strength. Both of those were taken away from me last week and I realized how weak I really am! Through this sickness I am realizing more about the Lord...how he truly desires to be our STRENGTH. When I was not able to do what I normally do and be on top of life He reminded me He didn't care about what I do...He cares about me in my weakness. He LOVES me and holds me when I feel weak and tired. He PROTECTS me when I can't protect myself. It was a sweet time for me as I prayed and felt His presence around me. I think it is the best time to slow down enough to realize these things. Though I don't want to be sick to learn these things again aboout my Lord I am thankful for His presence through a rough week.

Take time in your busyness to listen to the Lord...He loves you and desires you to acknowledge His presence through the mundane days of life.

100 things about me...

I saw this on my friend Laura's blog and thought it looked fun!
1. I am the first of two children- I like being the oldest!
2. I will turn 27 this year...makes me feel old!
3. I was born on Easter!
4. My favorite color is green for decorating but I'm also a big fan of red and pink.
5. I love almost all kinds of music but some favorites are probably Christian, jazz, Country, bluegrass, some rock...Pandora.com is great!
6. I tried learning to play the piano, sax and guitar. The only one I wish I stuck with was piano.
7. I hope and pray more of my family will be in Heaven than I expect
8. I love to travel and wish I could to do it more! My favs are tropical places but I would love to go to Europe, too.
9. I have been to Hawaii but it rained half the week :( Worst rainy season in 4o years.
11. I had just graduated from college and was 23 when I bought my house. Wouldn't happen now- I bought when they gave loans to just about anyone!
12. The biggest physical blessing the Lord has given me is my home...it's also the way he has taught me the most in the past 3 years
13. I got my job by a clear work of the Lord. It's a cool story that I love to tell :)
14. I love to bake! I don't do it very often because I have little self control with baked goods!
15. I intend to eat healthy...but healthy food is boring to me. I really do try, though.
16. I hope to have a family to cook and bake for some day :)
17. I am trying to finish several books- I have a bad habit of starting but not finishing books.
18. My parents have modeled a great marriage to me. It will be 30 years this year!
19. I have Verizon Wireless...most my friends and family are on it, too, which helps my bill!
20. I wish I could sew still.
21. I love photography and have thought of taking a class.
22. I like family heirlooms. I have a bookshelf my great grandpa built. I want the dresser I used as a teenager that was from my Grandma Friesen's side. I also have some baby sweaters, a cookie jar and doiles my great grandma had/made (she is turning 97 next week!)
23. I used to be adventurous but in my old age have too many fears ;o)
24. I enjoy reading blogs...even if I don't know the person!
25. I love to eat at nice restaurants.
26. I have a thing for reality shows and most TLC and HGTV- thought I don't have cable
27. I think celebs are highly overrated and over paid!
28. I hope that someday I will be a mom of 2-4 kids.
29. Before the kids...I hope to become a wife!
30. My favorite vacation was probably our trip to Puerto Vallarta for my college graduation.
31. I love cheese, chips & salsa, ribs, shrimp, steak...yum- can you tell I'm ready for lunch?
32. I love fondue. I love it with sausage, bread and beer. I'm a true german at heart!
33. I liked tracing my family tree in highschool. I am a mutt but am mostly german and norwegian.
34. I took 4 years of Spanish but because I'm not using it I don't remember much!
35. One of my best friends is in the Czech...I would LOVE to visit her but don't know how to make it happen financially.
36. My favorite profs in college were Dr. Harper and Dr. Patty.
37. I started college in Canada at Briercrest. My favorite prof there was Hinderager.
38. My degree is in Educational Leadership. Closest thing to prepare me for my job I could find at Multnomah.
39. I have thought of getting my Master's in School Adminstration...not sure if I ever will but think I would enjoy it.
40. I don't like onions!
41. I got a puppy the year after I moved into my house. I picked her breed because of the low-shed and because I thought she'd look cute in my little cottage :)
42. I was only person in my immediate family not to go to George Fox.
43. My first 2 years of college were debt free and paid for by my highschool job!
44. I wish I didn't have any college debt. If I hadn't bought my house I would have it paid off by now- oh well!
45. I sometimes think I should dye my hair dark just for fun but am afraid I'd hate it!
46. I learned an easy way to make a quick yummy appetizer from the Wiggins...cheese with pastry dough wrapped around it and cooked- eat with crackers.
47. My mom has been a stay at home mom/wife since she was pregnant with me- a life I'd love to have :)
48. I hate being the center of attention- I turn red usually if a big group of people are looking at me
49. I loved college but wasn't a big fan of high school.
50 I my 10 year reunion will be next year but I don't plan to go.
51. This past Spring I got into gardening...I still have lots to learn but enjoy it!
52. I love hanging flower baskets and potsin the late spring and summer.
53. I love Spring...it's would be my favorite season if it wasn't for the rain.
54. Cleaning is stress relieving for me if I have enough time to do it. If I'm busy it becomes stressful.
55. I love browsing and know if I had a lot of money I would love to buy.
56. I have been on too many first dates.
57. Last night was watching American Idol! Go Danny!
58. We never owned video games growing up. I am glad and hope to not have it in my own home someday.
59. I love the game Apples to Apples...I love most board games!
60. I am competitive but not athletic
61. I like salty and sweet...yogurt covered pretzels and kettle corn are my favs!
62. I hate being late- I am usually right on time.
63. I love being around my friends and family- it's my favorite past-time.
64. My car is messy- it used to be clean but ever since I've had a house I'd rather keep the mess in the car.
65. I bought a fun car and had to get rid of it for a more practical car when gas prices sky-rocketed!
66. I love reading magazines...Real Simple, Country Home, etc.
67. I think my job is perfect for me!
68. I wish I could sing better. One of my good friends Amber has a voice that gives you chills- so amazing!
69. I wrote a paper my senior year of college about teen girls and their self-esteems.
70. I want to get more involved in child advocacy but don't know where to start!
71. I love listening to babies and kids laugh.
72. I always wanted to be a little shorter so I can wear heels without being taller than most the boys. No I try to embrace my height.
73. I love lifting weights but hate cardio!
74. I was raised Happy Valley, OR.
75. All my friends but 2 are married.
76. I learned to bake pies from my grandma
77. I love the beauty of Oregon and the mild summers but hate the rain!
78. The beach is my favorite getaway. It's so pretty and reminds of the Lord's faithfulness as I watch the waves.
79. I am on the border of extrovert and introvert so I...like to be with people but need to be alone to unwind; love to talk but am shy when I am uncomfortable...
80. I have a hard time identifying with either the Republican or Democrat parties. I am moderate and wish there was a perfect political party!
81. If I had the money I would buy a hybrid car but would probably start with making my house more energy efficient
82. I am attracted to country boys but love the city and am not much of a country girl myself.
83. The closest thing to being country for me was growing up on 2 acres and riding horses in Bend every summer.
84. I was a wedding coordinator once and would do it again!
85. I love planning parties!
86. I love, love to decorate and redecorate! I think if it wasn't so materialistic I would like doing it for a living.
87. Babies usually like me!
88. I love the charm and character of my 1925 house...I love porches and hardwood floors.
90. If I had a million dollars I would pay off all my debt, build wells in Africa, donate to my church and college and save!
91. I love diamonds and it is my birthstone
92. Roses are my favorite flower but I am allergic to some!
93. I love perfume, makeup and clothes...girly girl at heart :)
94. I have never had a pedicure because I can't justify spending money on one. I would love it as a gift!
95. I love coming home to my dog...she is always happy to see me and makes me feel loved! I never knew I would be so attached to her!
96. I wonder what my life will be like in 5 years...I try not to dwell on the future too much but live in the present!
97. I was 4 when I accepted Jesus...I love working with young kids in church because I know how important planting those seeds are!
98. I enjoy spending time on the internet...esp Facebook and reading blogs!
99. I am trying to challenge myself in new ways at my job
100. My sister and I are told by strangers that we look like twins but I honestly think she is the prettier sister! I have thought that for a long time so I would tease her when I was in jr. high about having "dad's nose". So mean to try and make her insecure! :(

Waiting for sun!

I have to admit I am missing the sun more than usual these days. We've had a few teasers here and there of beautiful, sunny, winter days! Saturday was one of those days...it was so beautiful! I was actually too warm in a sweatshirt when I took Maggie to the park. I am thinking it would be nice right about now to move to a sunny state...or at least take a sunny vacation :)

Sunrises and sunsets...

There is nothing that reminds me more of the Lord and His presence in my life than a beautiful sunrise or sunset...I've had a weird week...more changes and busyness than usual...and feeling overwhelmed...I used to think I could handle a lot...but the Lord reminded me this week that I am not strong in my own strength...I am not immune to emotions...I do need people...I make mistakes at things I think I'm good at...and I can't do this life on my own. Wow...no wonder I've felt overwhelmed!

This week I have needed grace...from people and from the Lord. One morning I was getting ready for work and had to take my puppy outside to go potty. While I was standing there I looked over to the east and saw a beautiful, pink sky and the sun rising around Mt Hood (I actually can see part of the mountain from my front porch on clear days). I stood there and gasped at how BEAUTIFUL it was. I went inside and continued to get ready and left not much later. When I started driving I looked at the sky that had puffy clouds with a beautiful pink and purple sky. I was AMAZED at the beauty and the fact that my Savior, my Friend had created the sun...I felt like the sunrise was just for me that morning as I felt sapped of strength. I remembered as I praised the Lord that He is with me...He is faithful...He can make the sun rise each and every morning and can handle my little problems and insecurities and fears! He loves ME!

I am humbled by his GRACE...amazed at his BEAUTY...and determined to live full of his STRENGTH and not my own!

Change

So my life has had a lot of change lately...change is good. It means a fresh start, new beginings, new adventures...and it can be hard. For me it revolves around losing people (not losing as in death, but as in proximity). It's hard to think my friend Kim is half way across the WORLD. Wow- that's far! And my other friend Amber is in Nashville. Sure, I can talk to her on the phone but I miss laughing with her and walking during our breaks at work. These two friends moving have hit me hard in the last week. I miss them!

Now my sister is moving to Salem for a job (praise the Lord!) but it's sad...except for college we've always lived close if not in the same home. It will be weird to not be able to see her whenever I want :(

Not to mention change in our country...a new President brings mixed feelings for me. I see the good and the bad in Bush and in him. I wholeheartedly believe we are called (and commanded in the Bible) to respect our leaders and submit to their authority (unless they are leading you to sin). So, I respected Bush (and wish more people would) and I respect Obama (and laugh at the fear some people have). I will never agree 100% with either side. To me it is not that "black and white" (whoa, not in a race way, but policy/morals/etc). So we'll see what change this will bring...good and bad. Enough of my political rant :)

So, I don't know exactly WHY but I feel like there must be a PURPOSE to all this! So we'll see what the Lord will do through change in my life...both in my small, individual world...but also in the bigger world around me!

"Trust in the Lord and wait patiently for Him".