Lord I'm amazed by You...

this blog could potentially be really long...but i will try to sum up my thoughts...basically my prayers have been answered...for the past few months i have been praying about church...if i'm supposed to stay where i am or if he is leading me elsewhere...and if i am supposed to stay how can i feel connected and known...well i have felt like my prayers were not really leading anywhere...i felt more lost than ever...more unsure of where he was leading me...until a couple of weeks ago when he started to answer my cries...

it started one week when i got an odd e-mail from the children's pastor at my church. i don't really know her since there are other people "over" my minstry that are below her. the e-mail basically asked if i was happy with my ministry and liked what i was doing. she said someone told her they thought i wasn't...i was surprised since my ministry has been the only thing keeping me at imago the past few months. i didn't have a home community anymore and some sundays i would only go to that and not service because i've felt so lost in such a huge group of strangers. the ministry i've been doing for the past 14 months has been my lifeline. the e-mail did something, though. it brought some honesty between her and i. i told her how i wasn't sure if i was going to stay at imago and what i just explained above. she said that she would love to get together and talk and help me sort out my feelings. she said she could help me see if i was being led elsewhere or if i should stay. we set a date for 2 weeks later...

the next week i get a phone call from one of the leaders of my old home community. i was already told by his wife that he might be calling me to see if i'd like to help start a new one. so when he called i was hoping i could say with certainty yes but i told him i would like to be apart of it while continuing to pray for direction...as i might not be at imago much longer. he seemed fine with my searching and still invited me to come to the core group.

well by a week ago i was thinking i should try other churches. i tried a great one- real small and in transition but friendly people, solid theology...i decided i should tell the leaders in my ministry i needed a break [so i could try out other things].

my meeting with my children's pastor was thursday. i was a little nervous. i wasn't sure what it would look like since she knew i might move on and since i didn't really know her. have you ever had a conversation that you could hear the lord speaking through? where you could hear him answering your prayers because what the other person was saying was exactly what you had been praying about? have you ever felt so amazed by him that you where speechless? in the hour and a half that we talked i had never felt so loved and cared for by him. he was answering my prayers through this other person who didn't know me very well and certainly didn't know what i had been asking...

what he did was answer 2 specific requests i had for me to stay: 1) that i would have community 2) that i could learn from her [the children's pastor]. i knew he could answer the community part if i made an effort to joing a new home community. instead he brought it to me by having people ask me to be apart of their group. i really though number 2 was almost impossible. wow- i have such little faith! i thought she was too busy for me or that i wasn't worthy of being in her close circle. instead she told me how i had stood out to her...that she noticied me and asked about me...that she would like to help me get connected...that she would like to have me as a part of her leadership team...meeting with her...all these things that i thought i couldn't ask for...he was offering to me through her. my cries to be known and to grow and have community and to serve...were being answered.

as i left in shock of how much the lord loves me and listens to our cries the only thing i could say and sing in my heart was these lines to this song over and over:

lord, i'm amazed by you, lord i'm amazed by you
lord, i'm amazed by you, how you love me

as she told me...it will take time for me to feel connected...and i know it will take an effort on my part- to serve and be vulnerable. but the lord brough such a great gift to me this week that i had to share. i hope it encourages you to not give up praying because he hears us...and he loves us.

Puppy Love

No, I'm not in love...this blog is devoted to my puppy. Yesterday she had her annual vet visit. Now if you know Maggie at all you may know she has a very good memory...too good at times. In her short 2 years of life she has been "under" 3 times! The last time when she was spayed she had to stay overnight. It was very traumatic for both of us :o) So as soon as we walked in the door of the vet she turns the other way like..."never mind I don't want to be here". When we went into the the exam room she was hesitant. She didn't want to be weighed but a treat coaxed her on the scale. Then I heard the words a proud mamma wants to hear when the vet came in "wow! what a well behaved dog- especially for her age!". I was so proud as she sat calmy next to me. I think the vet would later take back those words. As soon as she came towards Maggie she crawls under my legs...then under the bench. She didn't want to come out from under the bench. She looked liked a scared child knowing what was coming...shots! It took me, the nurse and vet to keep her somewhat contained. The vet tried her best to examine her but Maggie would not let her inspect her ears (she doesn't even like me to). In the end Maggie got lots of treats, petting and love. She didn't even notice when the vet slipped in the vaccine.

Poor puppy! Now I know a little bit what it's like to take your kids to the doctor for their shots :o)

Thursday Randomness

5 Random Things about me...

1. Most people find it suprising that I have been bungee jumping. It scared me to death, though, I now I have a fear of falling :o(

2. I took 4 years of Spanish but barely remember any.

3. I really dislike red and white onions. I can handle green onions and chives.

4. I LOVE Mexican food! If I ever had to eat one type of food exclusively I would choose Mexican. And if you ever get the change to eat real Mexican food in Mexico you'll know why I love it so much.

5. As I've gotten older I'm not a morning or night person...if I had to choose I would stay up late but on work nights I'm usually in bed by 9!

I love my job!

Well today I thought I'd list a few of the reasons I love my job...I have my annual review this week so it got me thinking about my job (since I have to do a self-review, too).

• I'm thankful I have a job! I know people who are out of jobs and having trouble finding a new one!
• I love that I have friends as co-workers
• I get to PRAY in my office
• I get to help college students- I loved college and have a passion for this age group, for learning, for raising up godly leaders...
• I get to use the gifts God has given me...my last job used some of my natural gifts but was not my passion...so the fact I get to do something I'm passionate about while using my gifts...WOW!
• My employer has some great benefits- good health insurance plan, they pay for part of my lunch (and up until now they paid for all of my lunch), free gym and many other "perks".

There are many more things I could list...but off to lunch I go!